It’s been nearly 20 years since my mom had her stroke, and I’ve come to realize something I wasn’t always able to say out loud: I’m still grieving. Not just the event, but the life I imagined for both of us. This blog series is my way of giving those emotions a voice—sharing the parts of caregiving that are sacred, soft, and sometimes painful.
Remembering What I Hoped For
I often find myself imagining how things could have been. I see us laughing over dinner, raiding her fridge, and spending weekends exploring places we both love. I picture long conversations filled with advice, girl talk, and the kind of mother-daughter bond that deepens over time.
I grieve what it would’ve been like to see her grow old gracefully. To see her walking confidently through the world as she once did. These visions come uninvited, but they’re also full of love.
When Grief and Acceptance Coexist
Yoga teaches us about attachment. I now understand I was deeply attached—not just to my mom as a person, but to a specific version of her. Letting go of that attachment hasn’t been easy. The day of her stroke changed everything. And though acceptance has taken time, it’s no longer as heavy as it once was.
Now, as her primary caregiver, the lesson of acceptance lands softer. I’ve learned to meet her where she is. I find comfort in who she is now, even if it’s different from what I imagined.
Joy Can Still Be Found
I remind myself that I’ve been creating a different kind of adulthood. It’s not what I pictured, but it still holds joy. I take her to places I love, we sit outside and watch birds at the feeder, and I cherish the small, meaningful moments we share.
Grief hasn’t disappeared—but joy can sit beside it.
A Gentle Invitation
If you’re still grieving a version of life that didn’t happen, know you’re not alone. There’s no deadline for acceptance, and healing doesn’t look the same for everyone.
Stay with me for this 8-week series. Together, we’ll explore caregiving, self-compassion, grief, and how to make peace with a life that looks different—yet still meaningful.
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